


Flowers and Procrastination

by Peanutbutterassistant



Category: Warrior Cats - Fandom
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, Get ready to PINE, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Pining, but cmon we all know where this is going, i know it looks like it’s Onesided but Mothwing’s just dense okay??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27215743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peanutbutterassistant/pseuds/Peanutbutterassistant
Summary: Takes place before Lost Stars“I’ve got you, I’ve got you!” she teased, like they were apprentices in a wrestling match, disappointing their mentors by ditching lessons. And maybe they were.“You’ve got me.” Mothwing agreed, knowing how Leafpool would never know how true that statement could be.In which Mothwing and Leafpool procrastinate going home (leaving each other) after a trip to the moonpool.
Relationships: Mothwing/ Leafpool
Kudos: 34





	Flowers and Procrastination

**Author's Note:**

> I sure hope you’re ready to pine!!!

As Mothwing trotted down the rocky slope away from the moonpool, she couldn’t push away the greedy part of her that wanted to scream that once a moon was not frequent enough to visit.

She wasn’t sure how much longer she could go on, living and breathing only to make it to the next half moon. And it wasn’t because she liked the moonpool- she actually felt rather uncomfortable there, knowing everyone was in on some secret and she wasn’t. No, she didn’t care for the moonpool. But it was the best excuse she had to talk to Leafpool. 

And yes, Mothwing saw her at the full moon gathering as well, but the time was short and scarce and shared with far too many cats for Mothwing’s liking. If Mothwing ever wanted to talk to her alone, she had to do it in the half moon. 

She hated that she had to make excuses, she hated that it wasn’t enough to just see her when she did. Not that it wasn’t enough- that was a bad choice of words. What Mothwing and Leafpool had was perfect the way it was. But that greedy little monster in Mothwing’s heart wanted more. It always wanted more. It couldn’t be satisfied, even though Mothwing wanted it to be. It was hard not to give in, hard to ignore when the tabby she-cat was walking shoulder to shoulder with her down the trodden path. 

The excuse came easily to her tongue; “Oh, before I forget,” and then she had Leafpool’s attention, “Since leafbare is coming, I wanted to stock up in cadmint in case anyone caught green cough. But the cadmint in Riverclan hasn’t grown in yet, I was wondering if Thunderclan’s has?”

Leafpool looked up at her, that twinkle in her eye. “Oh, it has! There’s a bunch by the old twoleg house not too far from here. If you want to go get some now, I should probably go with you. Bramblestar will get mad if he hears that I let a Riverclan cat into Thunderclan territory alone.”

“Starclan forbid!” said Mothwing, mocking shock, causing Leafpool to laugh (the intended outcome, her laugh was like a babbling creek, the first Robin in spring, the sun when it came up in the morning, light flittering through the trees, looking like spotlights on brown tabby fur).

“You two have fun with that,” said Jayfeather, a tail length ahead of them, “Because I’m tired, I can hear my nest calling to me from here.”

Alderheart batted him on the side, a silent scolding for his attitude. (Mothwing was impressed with how the young tom had grown up, not the meek, anxious apprentice he had been when she met him). “We’ll tell Bramblestar that you’ll be a bit late.”

“Thanks,” said Leafpool.

Mothwing felt a familiar dark pelt brush up against her side, “Do you want me to come with you?” asked Willowshine, “Two mouths hold more than one.”

Mothwing gave her the kindest smile she could manage, “Don’t worry, I’ll bring back enough. Besides,” she added, “Someone has to tell Mistystar I’ll be running late, otherwise she’ll worry.”

Willowshine gave a curt nod and hurried off in the direction of Riverclan’s camp. Others drifted off separate paths as Mothwing followed Leafpool deeper and deeper into Thunderclan territory.

As they were finally alone, Mothwing let herself walk a bit closer to Leafpool, just so their pelts brushed up against one another continuously, not enough to make Leafpool uncomfortable or arouse suspicion. It made the greedy beast in her stomach purr with delight.

“Did you dream something nice at the moonpool tonight?” Mothwing asked, ending their comfortable silence.

“You know I couldn’t tell you if I did.” Leafpool reminded her.

“Make something up, then.” 

Leafpool kept her eyes straight ahead, with some difficulty (did she not want to look at Mothwing?), when a smile came to her face, deciding to indulge her.

“I was at the sun drown place,” she began, creating the tale, “and I saw a kittypet, standing in the water. She walked towards me-“

“A kittypet?” said Mothwing, interrupting. “Did you know her?”

“No,” said Leafpool. “She was a tabby, a gray one. She walked toward me, and as soon as she reached land, she burst into a thousand butterflies.”

“That many?” asked Mothwing, filling her voice with as much awe as she could, anything to keep Leafpool talking. Mothwing could listen to her talk forever, she didn’t even care what it was about, she just wanted to hear the soft tones of her voice. The way it would lift when she told stories, tried to explain her dreams and signs to Mothwing. She was always so patient, going over details, repeating how she came to her conclusions, how she tore the dreams apart and found the message buried deep within. Starclan talked with what seemed to Mothwing, like a special, secret code. A secret language Leafpool had mastered. Hearing her so confident, so sure of herself, Mothwing could listen forever.

“Maybe more.” said Leafpool, her voice washing over Mothwing like silk. “They flew all around me, I couldn’t see anything else besides colorful butterfly wings.”

“What did you think the message was?” Mothwing asked.

“What do you think it means?” Leafpool said, directing it back at her. Mothwing liked this game they played, where no answers were really wrong. But somehow, Leafpool always won.

“The butterflies flew all around you, they boxed you in. So maybe… you’re trapped?” Mothwing speculated. “Or maybe the kittypet is trapped?”

Leafpool hummed, “That's an interesting idea, I hadn’t thought of that. Do you really think so?”

“Maybe,” said Mothwing, “But you don’t think so.”

Leafpool finally looked at her, that soft gaze that Mothwing knew all too well, ‘you know me so well, you’re my best friend.’ 

‘And I am.’ she told herself. ‘I am. Stop ignoring it, stop hoping to be anything else.’

The monster that clawed at her insides hissed, ‘but I want it, I want want want.’

‘Greedy,’ she told it, ‘Greedy greedy paws, grabbing for something you know you can’t have. Why do you want to suffer? Why do you want want want so badly? I’m exhausted, how are you not exhausted yet? Why can’t you just give up? Haven’t we been hurt enough? Haven’t I hurt enough? Why do you wish to cause more pain?’

The monster roared, ‘You make us hurt by ignoring it. You know it. You can’t ignore me forever. You can’t can’t can’t.’

“I think it had something to do with seeing.” Leafpool said, interrupting her traitorous thoughts. “When Cr- when the kittypet turned into butterflies, the butterflies were all I could see. I felt such an emphasis there.”

“Like it was clouding your vision?” Mothwing asked.

“No, like I was supposed to be looking at it, and I wasn’t.”

“So what was the kittypet for?”

“I think I wasn't supposed to look at the kittypet. I was supposed to look at the butterflies instead.”

“So what are you supposed to do?” asked Mothwing, “What does starclan want from you?”

“Starclan doesn’t always want something from me, sometimes they just want to remind you of something, keep your head on straight, or give you permission to do something.”

“Well, what was starclan reminding you?” 

Leafpool’s amber eyes twinkled, “Ignore distractions, look for the butterflies.”

“Ah yes, cryptic as always.” Mothwing lamented, earning her another one of Leafpool’s giggles. Ever since the battle against the dark forest- seeing her brother again- she couldn’t deny the existence of starclan. Leafpool helped her work through the next few moons that followed, possibly the most confusing and difficult times of her life. She’s trying to navigate her relationship with starclan, deciding she can believe in the existence of starclan, but not have trust in them. They’ve let her down enough. Besides, how could starclan be all knowing, when they’re filled with hundreds- thousands of cats who are all individually flawed and self centered? The clans alive couldn’t get along, why would they get along dead?

Leafpool’s unwavering trust and belief in starclan made Mothwing think she was naïve when they were young, but now, Mothwing couldn’t help but be a bit jealous. Mothwing hadn’t had that kind of faith and trust in anyone since she was a kit, since their mother left them.

Except Leafpool. But she didn’t need to know that.

‘I don’t trust starclan, I trust you, Leafpool.’

“Actually, I don’t think they were butterflies,” said Leafpool, after a moment, “I think they were moths.”

Mothwing was able to ignore the fluttering of tiny wings in her stomach that threatened to reveal her secrets, but just barely.

They approached the abandoned twoleg house, taking as much cadmint in their jaws as they could. When her jaws were full, she felt the immediate loss, she would have to return home, now. As if she were already aching from Leafpool’s departure, she turned to face her companion. She expected- she wasn’t sure what she expected, but not this. Leafpool shifted her weight from paw to paw, anxious.

“Since we’re already out, I was thinking I would collect some tansey. We’re almost out. There’s some growing by the edge of the lake in Shadowclan territory. It’s on the way to Riverclan, I would walk you there.”

Mothwing’s heart leaped. 

‘Is she anxious I’m going to say no? Is she doing the same thing I am? Is she trying to procrastinate going our separate ways?’

There were times like this where Mothwing wasn’t sure what to think of her best friend. Most of the time, she was the perfect friend. Always made sure there was enough space between them so that they couldn’t be perceived as anything else than friends. Who looked at Crowfeather with longing and would never ever risk her place in her clan for love. Not again. 

But then there were the times Leafpool would go out of her way to see Mothwing, looked at her with the kindest eyes (what did that expression mean?). When she would wait patiently for Mothwing to spill her guts. Always listened when Mothwing needed an ear, there for her when no one else was. The only one who knew her deepest secrets. 

And then Mothwing could go back even farther, to when their friendship was new. Mothwing would look over to Leafpool (Leafpaw, then) in the middle of a conversation, see she was looking back at her. And she would get flustered and look away. Mothwing would have had to be blind to not know Leafpaw had found her attractive. Lots of cats did, even now. In terms of relative beauty, most cats found Mothwing quite pretty, and Leafpaw had been no exception. Staring at her when she thought Mothwing couldn’t see, getting easily flustered and embarrassed when they stood too close. Blurting out things like “but you’re amazing! Who wouldn’t like you?” Before she could think twice. And Mothwing had found it endearing, hadn’t thought much of it. Mothwing had missed her chance.

As Leafpool grew, her crush matured, and Mothwing caught her doing those things less and less. And for some reason, she caught herself missing it. Sometimes, she couldn’t figure out if Leafpool had simply moved on from her silly apprentice age crush, or if it had matured into something… more? And she was just better at hiding it now? 

She tried not to think about it too much, tried not to give herself hope. But sometimes…

“Sure!” said Mothwing.

On the walk to Shadowclan, Leafpool shared a trick she learned for carrying herbs easier. As long as you had a second cat, you could do it. Leafpool took the cadmint by the stem and stuck them through Mothwing’s fur. They would stay so long as Mothwing didn’t roll around, and Willowshine could pick them out later. Mothwing suppressed a purr as Leafpool worked, trying not to think how this was almost like grooming.

Mothwing walked close enough to the shore line that the lake water wet her paws. Leafpool chattered about something or other- Squirrelflight and Bramblestar were bickering and it was driving her crazy, and Jayfeather was not helping (he needs to stop enabling them), and it was stressing Alderheart out but what doesn’t stress Alderheart out, honestly- but Mothwing was only half paying attention.

The other half was listening to Leafpool’s voice, soaking in the soft tones like sunlight on the sunningrocks. Trying to remember this moment, trying to catalogue it for later.

Too soon, they had arrived at the tansey patch. Mothwing helped Leafpool pluck the herbs out by their roots (trying to get the most of it). When Leafpool had collected enough (the pile sat by her paws) the two she-cats stood there for a moment, and Leafpool said,

“Anything else you want to get? While we’re out, I mean. Might as well.” 

It may have been Mothwing’s imagination being cruel to her, but Leafpool sounded like she wanted Mothwing to say yes.

Trying to come up with something- anything- to stop this night from ending, her mind came to…

“Well, actually, there’s one thing I can think of. But it’s over there.”

Mothwing tilted her ear to the opposite side of the lake, where the twoleg barn stood, the one with the horses that divided Riverclan and Windclan’s territory.

It was very out of the way, there was no reason to go there now, but the greedy thing inside loved it. 

‘More time, more time. Maybe we can forget that we’re separated all the time and she’ll never love you.’

“Yeesh, that’s far.” Leafpool admitted.

Mothwing tried (emphasis on ‘tried’) to ignore the pit the formed in her stomach, and could have sworn the monster spoke from Mothwing’s mouth;

“I know a shortcut.”

Leafpool turned those round amber eyes to her (those eyes that make her weak), and Mothwing waded into the water.

Confused for a moment, Leafpool adorably scrunched her nose. Then, her eyes widened. “No, no, no.” she said, “I’m not swimming all the way across. No way.”

“D’you think running around the whole lake would be faster?” she asked coyly.

“For me, probably!” said Leafpool, the tips of her ears going pink. 

“Is that a challenge?” 

“Not a fair one, you’re Riverclan!”

“So you’re saying you can’t run to the barn before I could swim there?” Mothwing teases, “You admit it?”

“No!” Leafpool giggled, “I just meant that you could swim faster than I could. I could totally beat you over there if I were running and you were swimming. No doubt.” Her smile was contagious, Leafpool was thinking the same thing she was.

“Care to put it to the test?”

“You’re on!”

Mothwing waded into the water, as quickly as she could. She heard Leafpool’s quick paw steps as she sprinted back towards Thunderclan. Soon, Mothwing was up to her neck and was able to start swimming. She pushed her muscles hard, trying to propel herself forward as quickly as she could. Her heart pounded in her ears and her legs ached and after what felt like forever but also much too quickly, she waded to shore, dragging her wet pelt onto land. 

Finally out of the water, she heard a yelp as brown fur collided with her, sending Leafpool and herself off their feet and into the tall reeds by the riverbank.

Before she really knew what she was doing, Mothwing was laughing, lying on her back. Leafpool was laughing too, and Mothwing’s sides ached and she couldn’t stop.

“I told you I’d win!” Mothwing managed, finally.

“What? I totally beat you!” said Leafpool.

“No way! I got you, admit it!”

“Never!”

And, as if they were kits, Mothwing swiped playfully at her ear, and Leafpool kicked her on the side. Suddenly, Leafpool leaped on top of her, and they were rolling through the reeds, tackling each other and laughing and Mothwing couldn’t honestly remember the last time she had had such careless fun. 

Accepting defeat, Mothwing lay on her back and Leafpool lay her front paws on her chest.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you!” she teased, like they were apprentices in a wrestling match, disappointing their mentors by ditching lessons. And maybe they were.

“You’ve got me.” Mothwing agreed, knowing how Leafpool would never know how true that statement could be.

(And the monster was silent. Was it finally satisfied? Was this what it wanted?)

Leafpool seemed to notice something, her smile fading.

“What?” Mothwing asked. 

“Is that the sun?” Leafpool asked.

Mothwing trained her eyes to where Leafpool was looking at the sky and yeah, it was.

“Yep, that’s a sunrise.” Mothwing confirmed.

“Oh starclan, Bramblestar’s gonna kill me.”

“Mistystar is going to have my head.”

They laughed at their own idiocy.

“What did you even want to get over here?” Leafpool asked.

Mothwing strained her mind, but suddenly, she couldn’t even remember what herbs grew here. Suddenly, it didn’t matter.

Leafpool took her silence as an answer. Mothwing also realized that she just swam the entire length of the lake, and the cadmint in her fur must have fallen out. And Leafpool left all her tansey on the other side of the lake.

Mothwing’s heart fluttered, Leafpool was on her chest, she must have heard it. Did this mean Leafpool was in on it too? Did she procrastinate the whole night alongside her? Did she want to pause this night and never go home, too? Mothwing let herself hope, even just a little.

And before she could stop herself (she said it without thinking), with a sigh, she spoke, “What’re we even doing?”

Leafpool was looking at her with those kind, round eyes. “I was hoping you knew.”

It felt so ridiculous, Mothwing wanted to laugh again. Leafpool laid her head down so it was resting in her chest fur, looking bashful, before saying;

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“I lied to you.”

Mothwing didn’t sit up- she didn’t want to disturb Leafpool- but she was tempted to. “Lied about what?”

“The dream.” she explained, “I know you told me to lie, but I still shouldn’t have. There was no kittypet, it was Crowfeather.”

Mothwing felt her insides go cold. This was the last thing she hoped they’d talk about.

“And he didn’t burst into moths. The moths were all around me, overhead, but I didn’t think they were important, so I didn’t pay attention. I thought Crowfeather was the message Starclan was trying to send. So I was so focused on him, I didn’t notice that the moths surrounded me until it was too late, and I couldn’t see anything besides Moth’s wings.”

Mothwing didn’t look at her. But she so wanted to. She wanted to ask what it meant. She wanted it to mean what she had always wanted.

“I lied to you too.” she said instead. “I never had a reason to come over here.”

“I lied about needing more tansey.” Leafpool added.

“I lost all my cadmint in the lake.”

“Then what was this all for, Mothwing?” Leafpool asked.

‘Yeah Mothwing,’ the monster taunted, ‘tell her. Tell her why you did it. Let us out. Say it. Be greedy. You are the greedy monster. 

‘I am the greedy monster.’

**Author's Note:**

> In case you haven’t figured it out, Leafpool’s vision was telling her to stop focusing on Crowfeather because that part of her life was over, and to focus on Mothwing because she’s RIGHT THERE


End file.
